I have been researching a topic that seems simple enough. The concept of social upward mobility and what it means to move up the ladder socially and economically as part of the completion of Urafiki. This stems from PhD research that I conducted with the explicit purpose of furthering the social and economic development of Africa and its peoples’. Yet every time I step out of the research literature and mingle with young women and men in the urbanised settings of Kenya I stumble upon a topic I would rather not deal with.
Unfortunately or fortunately, in social science (especially qualitative research),you often discover so much more than you expect.
The topic that keeps rearing itself is Transactional Sex. This is simply the exchange (sale) of physical intimacy for material gain such as cars,home and land ownership, job opportunities and promotions, or soft life (according to some young people) and in some cases it earns people the long term right to be managed and taken care of by a romantic partner. Basically, these people find ways to abdicate their lives and hand them over to wealthier and mostly older lovers.
My more recent and poignant discussion of these forms of relationships was with a young thirty something woman who is very well educated (thus my surprise and motivation to write this article). She was a high academic achiever from childhood and was able to earn admission into a celebrated national high school where she scored very high marks in the national KCSE exams. She was textbook perfect for admission to a prestigious career after her graduation.
Upon graduation, she worked in a good company as an accountant for a while but she perceived it was not suited for her. Socially, she was dating several wealthy men. After a few heartbreaks and after one she really liked went financially broke in the course of an intense relationship, she decided to find a man who could afford a home. She also decided that she wanted to be a full-time stay at home carer to a child so needed a man to afford and approve that lifestyle. Eventually, she found that man packaged as almost twenty years her senior. A man who is comfortable with her living in a mansion with their three young children as he works and lives in a different county. They meet occasionally in her mansion when he requires “rest” from a busy work schedule.
Further discussion with young Kenyans about this pervasive form of intimacy revealed that these relationships are perceived to provide faster and less strenuous access to symbol capital.
Forms of symbol capital:
- Rides in luxury vehicles, yachts, helicopters and private jets
- Club nights in luxury hotels
- Luxury holidays and vacations
- Luxury clothes
- School fees
- Financial upkeep for families of origin
A select few manage to attain the following forms of symbol capital registered in their names:
- Car ownership
- Home ownership or consistent rental income
Alas, I find myself back in my previous post and discussion on Affluenza.
In the circles where I discussed transactional sex, there was a muted societal acceptance and resignation to the activities around transactional sex. It did not sound as such as a bad thing to many as long as the person was caring for the partner financially in a consistent fashion. There seemed to be a huge focus on the ends and not the means or the process. Basically, if people were exhibiting forms of economic progress and stability there was a difficulty in criticising these partnerships as morally wrong. There could be very many complex societal and cultural reasons for this muted resignation and acceptance. What I found particularly interesting is that it is no longer women and men from very poor and deprived backgrounds who are interested in exploring these forms of intimacy but also people from relatively comfortable homes.
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with marriage or partnership between people of varying levels of economic wealth or what people describe as marrying rich but I struggle with the idea that one must obsessively shop around for the most financially wealthy man or woman in the room in order for short term goals of acquiring symbol capital. Sometimes overlooking other qualities that can stand the test of time in a long term union.
Challenges of Transactional Sex
A human being must be viewed holistically and not just as a factor of production. Otherwise, this is just another one of the negative results of extreme individualistic capitalism and the measurement of status based on physical possessions.
Another challenge of these forms of intimacy is the mental , psychological, spiritual and physical health of all the parties involved in the exchange of intimacy. Is it really sustainable in the longer term? What if the wealthy (often much older) partner falls gravely ill and is unable to physically provide the forms of symbol capital the younger partner is used to enjoying? Will the abdicator who wants to be taken care of transition to become a caregiver? What if the once beautiful and youthful partner starts to age and decline in good looks and vigour? What if the wealthier partner who shops around for a “resting” place gets bored of it?
Ultimately, is it a form of wealth that is transferable without stigma and social embarrassment to the much younger generations? For wealth to be impactful it should be cross generational and handed down effectively. Is wealth acquired in this way easy to pass over to the next generation if the wealthier partner had already registered some assets with a first wife or husband? In the case of an affair or extra marital relationship this is even more complex because this is a secret relationship. The wealthier partner will do everything in their power to avoid splitting assets.
Let us rethink this as a dominant form of exchange in the Kenyan society by rethinking what we mean as wealth and drawing a distinct boundary between symbol capital, riches and transformational wealth.
Some Select Sources and Further Reading
PhD research
Kibere, Faith Njeri (2016). The Capability of Mobility in Kibera ‘Slum’, Kenya: An Ethnographic Study of How Young People Use and Appropriate New Media and ICTs. University of Leicester. Thesis. https://hdl.handle.net/2381/37699
Abdication Syndrome
Taylor, S. 2020.The Abdication Syndrome. Psychology Today. Why we are vulnerable to authoritarian leaders, corrupt gurus, and cults. Retrieved from:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/202009/the-abdication-syndrome
Affluenza
James, O. (2007). Affluenza: How to be successful and stay sane. Random House.
Leclerc-Madlala, S. (2003). Transactional sex and the pursuit of modernity. Social dynamics, 29(2), 213-233.
Faith Gichana, PhD. Three ways to survive affluenza in Kenya. YOUTUBE. Retrieved from:https://youtu.be/-XL2qeEKmyg
Marrying “Rich”
Sayles, G. 2009. How To Marry The Rich: The Rich Will Marry Someone, Why Not You?Iuniverse.
Patton, S. (2014). Marry Smart: Advice for Finding THE ONE. Simon and Schuster.
Long Term Wealth Creation and Maintenance
Hughes Jr, J. E., Whitaker, K., & Massenzio, S. E. (2021). Complete Family Wealth: Wealth as Well-being. John Wiley & Sons.
